LivingReal

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In a world filled with so many choices and options it becomes proportionately more difficult to clarify our wants dreams and desires.

As it is now not only acceptable but expected that a woman would have a career outside of the home, those choosing the position of full time mothers are looked upon oddly. And still the woman who drops her child off at a day care provider on her way to the office often struggles between her desire for success in the marketplace and her maternal instincts. The same can be said of fathers who have come to cherish their role in the nurturing process.

These difficult choices extend to seemingly less important areas of life while creating decision making dilemmas everywhere we turn. What to order in a restaurant, which toothpaste to use, where to go on vacation, which television channel to watch, whose opinion to believe, what do I want to be when I grow up?????

H ow is one to plan a strategy for life when the choices are so numerous and our ability and willingness to make decisions are exhausted and drained by the simple act of going through the day?

Getting from point A to point B is the overall purpose.

Point A is where things are at today.

(Things = income, emotions & feelings, workload, time constraints, personal and family situations)

Point B is the clear vision of the life you want to create for yourself within the framework of family, career and personal dreams wants and desires.

We must not let the burden of or the reality of Point A to hinder the development of the vision of Point B. In other words, don’t let the muck of everyday life clog the gears of your mind in developing a clear vision of where you want to be in the future nor the creative flow required to plan the course to get there.

In addition to muck is fear. Let’s recognize it and face it. Fear will often back down when faced head on.

Fear of: Family reactions

Income disruptions

Failure

Disappointment

Client reaction

Employee reaction

Personal discomfort

On one end of the scale is fear. Balanced on the opposite end of the scale is the muck of life today. True – along with the muck are all the benefits and accolades that come from providing a good life and living to yourself and your family. But it feels like muck, the continuing demands that grow each day that become toxic. Muck has the tendency to grow and spread and infect and suck you in further.

Clarifying Point B and making it so big & bright & colorful & attractive is step one

Now climb out of the muck by facing the fears

A good friend has always had the dream of raising dogs. Whether he would do this as a full time endeavor or a hobby isn’t clear, but the experience of being involved on a daily basis with the birthing and nurturing of quality dogs has always intrigued him - for years. With a full time career and an above average income this family man with home and cars and yard work and marriage doesn’t have much time for his family dog, let alone a whole pack of young pups.

But life is meant for living and enjoying and experiencing. If my friend finds himself one day, at age 60 or 65 or 70 and still has not tried his hand at dog raising there is a very great chance that he will look back with regret and remorse.

Tom was trained as a carpenter, and he was good at it. Ran his own show and was never lacking for work as word of mouth always brought new customers. He enjoyed the freedom of being his own boss and doing work that he loved. A look into the future gave Tom a reality check that his chosen profession was not the best choice for his future career. First there was the physical side. What his young 20 something body could handle his 30 something body was starting to feel. Then the freedom. Every day he took off from work was a day without pay. He recognized and accepted his lack of desire and ability to manage employees, he just did not fit into his paradigm of enjoyable work.

So —– in his early 30’s he made a switch, learned finance, followed his love of cars and now, in his 50s he is well established as the finance manager of a successful auto dealer, a career from which can retire or work for many more years. He has found time for many of his hobbies and his growing family.

John was not so visionary in his profession. A well respected and skilled painter and wall paper installer, John hired employees on a regular basis but his skill and speed at paper hanging always called for hands on work. His solid income, good reputation and enjoyment of his work caused him to never stop and consider the future. After his second knee operation and constant neck pain from the demands of the job he realized he could no longer continue his chosen profession.

Waiting until his 50’s when his body was giving out made his transition much more difficult. The need to return to school was not easy and the course work was incredibly difficult.

A strategy to prepare for the future which recognizes a person’s desires, dreams and physical realities becomes the plan to assure a fulfilled life of satisfaction and happiness rather than regret and remorse.