Lessons from the Hot Tub

This week end I had the chance to see a lesson I learned immediately displayed – let me explain.

My wife and I were in Cedar Rapids Iowa as video presenters of a fantastic marriage seminar called Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage. The seminar presenter – Pastor Mark Gungor, shared that one of the reasons married men do better in some things (make more money, in business) is because they marry a handbook on relationships – their wives. Unmarried men “go through life they way they came in – clueless”.

Staying overnight in Cedar Rapids we were looking forward to some quiet time together in the hotel hot tub. We were pleased to find the pool area almost empty except for one young guy in the hot tub. We climbed in slowly, enjoying the warmth of the swirling water anticipating a pleasant, quaint conversation between the two of us. Alas – the other bather, being on his own, both in the tub and single in life seemed to be rather pleased to have company and fully engaged us in conversation. We learned more about his life and work than passing strangers needed to hear beyond idle chit chat. It became obvious rather quickly that our private time was not to be had, so both my wife and I became willing participants in the back and forth questions and banter.

In discussing it later I pointed out to Cyndi, my wife, what a perfect example this was of Mark’s teaching. As a single guy our fellow bather failed to recognize that here was a couple, staying in a nice hotel, coming late in the evening to the hot tub together. We weren’t long into our conversation when it was shared that we were there for only the one night for a marriage seminar. If it was me, I pointed out, I would have considered the possiblity that this couple would probably like some alone time, kept to myself and maybe even vacate the hot tub (since he had already been there for a while as he told us) and give these folks some time alone.

Is it true that my 32 years of marriage has taught me some things about relationships or is it that some people are just not aware of things and people around them enough to notice common courtesies. Or maybe it is foolish to think that a public hotel hot tub is a place to go to when looking for a quiet time with that special someone?

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